Yesterday was a very crazy day and definitely had its ups and down, but one thing Cary and I could not wait for was our ultrasound at 1 o’clock! I think it is natural to spend a lot of time wondering if the unborn child is a boy or girl and Cary and I were no exception. We talked endlessly about the little person and how we could see either one fitting into our lives so perfectly. After a lot of fantasizing and dreaming about our baby being either a little man or little lady it was almost sad to have that end, but also very exciting to be able to focus on who our baby really is! Knowing the sex of your child is definitely a personal preference and I can see why some prefer to wait, but for me I felt that it would help me bond better and quit calling it an “IT”! I always felt so awkward talking about my baby without a gender identifier and it is even more difficult now that I know “IT” is a “HE”!!!
That’s right; we have been blessed with a baby boy that is already a wild man! Yesterday during the ultrasound he was kicking and moving all around! The Ultrasound Tech could hardly keep up with his wiggles, but when it was time for him to let us know if he was a boy or girl he proudly spread those little legs and revealed a VERY CLEAR image of what he has going on!
Once we found out I could tell Cary was ecstatic because he has one dimple in his left cheek that was showing nonstop after we saw and had it confirmed that Baby Co is a little boy! Those that know my family also know that little boys are hard to come by and while we love our little girls it is nice to see some boys being added to the family tree without having to marry into it. It also is proof that having boys is not impossible for the Dunlop Women with my older sister having one just last spring and now I’ll be having boy number 2 right after him! Very exciting stuff for our family to welcome any new family member, but knowing that this is a little boy puts a little extra spin on things since I think if any of us were gambling people we would have bet on this baby being a girl…
As I mentioned before, yesterday was a bit of a rollercoaster and definitely had its ups and downs. After being on cloud nine from our ultrasound we had an appointment with our OBGYN to go over how Baby Co is doing and he looks great, has all his organs and limbs, 10 fingers and 10 toes and is exactly the size and weight he should be at 20 weeks! All a sigh of relief until our Doctor said oh and there is one thing we need to discuss as she walks over to the closest chair and sits down… this did not settle well with me and I was bracing myself for some not so good news (I could also see on Cary’s face all the worry I was feeling inside).. The Doctor went on to tell us that our child was healthy and perfect, but that his umbilical cord is not perfect and is actually connected to the placenta incorrectly… This happens in about 1% of pregnancies and does have a fancy name, but to prevent unnecessary googling (I’ve been told not to so I don’t want anyone else doing it either) I’ve decided not to post it right now. However, I will try to explain it the way it was explained to me and I just ask that everyone keeps our little man in your thoughts and prayers because at the end of this pregnancy all we want more than anything is for our guy to be healthy. So what this means for Baby Co is that his umbilical cord has a harder time carrying all the nutrients he may need to grow as big as he could/should be (Like I mentioned before he is perfect size right now and has been getting an adequate amount so far). The biggest risk for him is being born too early due to him not getting what he needs and becoming stressed... Our Doctor warned us that she has had to deliver babies as early as 25 weeks, but has seen them go much longer, even full term at 37 weeks! Our hope is that he stays in my belly for as long as possible, because most of us know that a baby delivered too early would have a very long road. The silver lining in all this is that they saw the problem (it is missed a lot because it isn’t common or an easy diagnosis to make) and now they can watch him really close! So close that I will be having another ultrasound already on Wednesday the 14th and then seeing a doctor every 2 weeks staggering doctor appointments and ultrasound visits with the High Risk OB team. I know that Co and I are in good hands and will have to trust our Doctors and most importantly God to watch over us.
While obviously my top priority is my baby and the fact that I will do anything for him and will make sure I follow any instructions I’m given to keep him as safe and healthy as humanly possible and my biggest fear is for something to happen to him and for Cary, Lucy and I to lose a family member that we already love very much.. I have my own personal fears and disappointments that honestly, I feel guilty for even thinking let alone typing for people to read, but this blog is if nothing else an honest view at what I am going through during this pregnancy and I am going to try to keep it that way. One of the things around this situation that disappoints me is now I am not allowed to exercise because I need to preserve nutrients for my baby. I am not a crazy work out fiend by any means, but I am an active person and I like to try to stay healthy and fit. This is obviously a small price to pay to keep Co healthy, but it was an outlet for me and now I feel more stressed and worried than ever and I won’t have that to turn to… and another thing that disappoints me is that I probably won’t get to experience having labor and then the delivery of my son, I thoroughly enjoy being pregnant and am sad at the high probability of that being cut short… not that I loved being in labor with Lucy, but that is part of the falling in love process.. You work so hard for that little person because you love them so much and it hurts and you think you might die and then they are there and everything is perfect as long as they are perfect and it is a very rewarding experience. The last thing is a huge fear of mine and that is having a C-section... I know they aren’t the end of the world and if that is what is best for Baby Co than I will do it in a heartbeat, but I’m really really scared. I delivered Lucy without pain killers because I am more afraid of the epidural than I am of the pain and there is a good chance this baby will be delivered by cesarean which means a spinal and a knife to my belly! Again, I know these thoughts are very selfish thoughts and I do feel guilty about them because when I find my mind going there I always remember what is important and who matters at the end of the day and that is the little boy who’s life depends on me.
Today I am 20 weeks pregnant! Officially at the halfway point... And now… the countdown really begins :)
-Lexi
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